In the past week, my cousins and I have been reminiscing about Aunt Julie, collecting pictures and sharing stories. My cousin Lisa shared a story about the Aunt Julie stare and it resonated with all of us. Anyone who knew her knows that she had this stare that was quite uniquely hers. The stare was her way of piercing your being with her eyes and expressions that would convey a mixture of disdain and disgust…. which would inevitably end when she cracked up with a laugh that could fill the room on its own. J Her laugh was truly one of a kind.

So I was probably always the most mischievous of all my cousins… or at least that’s the way I describe myself. My cousins (and aunts… and brother… and father) may have some other choice adjectives that they’d use... but, whatever the case may be, I was the recipient of that STARE many times but was always rewarded with her laugh afterwards.

Anyone who knows about my relationship with AJ knows that my choice nickname for her was Aunt Roach. I know, gross. But most may not know how that nickname came about. One day we were talking about bugs – I must’ve been 10 or so at the time – and I told her how much I was afraid of them. And she said, you just have to name them so that you don’t fear them. So, then (remember the mischievous past me I was just telling you about?) I said, “Well, aunt Jul, why don’t I just name you as a roach so I don’t feel that scared”. So, Aunt Roach was born that day and she never looked back. J In redefining the word roach (a vile creature that seemingly has no purpose whatsoever on Earth) and making it mean a loving creature that had all the purpose in the world in my life and in the lives of all of her family and friends, I was taught a valuable lesson that day which I still carry with me: a way of facing and dispelling my fears.

My aunt Roach was amazing – she’s been described as a gem by her siblings, some of her cousins have even referenced her unconditional love and how truly unique she was. Some of my cousins have even given her the title of ‘second mother’ which I’m sure would be equally as touching to our aunt since she never had children of her own. We all felt like Aunt Julie’s children as she delighted in cooking for us, sharing old stories and pictures, teaching us the family mythology that each one of us cherishes and carries within; ready to share with the next generation in a beautiful, unbroken chain.

Her presence was always felt so robustly that her absence will be felt just as deeply. She was magnanimous, caring and kind to all. Who wouldn’t miss that? But, we have all of our experiences with her, all her recipes, all her stories, all of her pictures to hold forever with us until we one day see her again.

You know when someone passes, as convention dictates, everyone says, “sorry for your loss” – “my condolences” but, even though her passing is an indescribable loss, I choose not to focus on the loss at all, I choose to believe that she’s out of pain and also choose to keep all of her memories alive, without which I wouldn’t be the person I am today nor would practically anyone in this church. 

Here’s to Aunt Roach: teacher, myth-maker, sister, cousin, aunt, second mother… most definitely one of a kind.  

A couple of things I most remember about Julie was her pretty smile and her hearty laughter.

At our anniversary party, she said she most enjoyed sitting in the large chair in our family room, the air-conditioning and seeing so much of the family in one place.

After my brother Joe and I dropped off a new stove to her house, which her Brother Ant installed, she said she was so happy that she could bake again.

My Mom, Aunt Josephine, would often visit Aunt Jennie with two bags of Kielbasa and rye bread, one for Aunt Jennie and one for Aunt Angie and the kids. 

My Dad, Uncle Mike, had mentioned that the kids learned patience from his sister, Aunt Angie.  He told me a story of visiting Aunt Ang while she was making macaroni and how the little ones would put their hands on the table to feel the flour.  Aunt Ang in a normal tone would say no-no and brush their hands away continuing the conversation.  He said he was the only one who was getting upset, not his sister or the kids.

The memories of these things typify the meaning of family and Julie was an example of this love.

We extend our most profound sympathy to the rest of the family.

Mike and Arlene Vattimo and family.

We also had fond times listening to music such as Frankie Valli, Supremes, and Motown.  We also had our funny songs too like "They are coming to take you away ha ha....".  This would be played both forward and it was recorded backwards on the flip side.  We also had our physical challenges like to dance all the way through the "drum solo" in "A Gada DaVida".  As you can see my time with her and Betty Ann were huge for me.  And as time goes and we become adults our lives change and we don't spend the time together any longer.  But rest assured, the love and togetherness created is never released from our hearts.  But it is there like a box of precious jewels.

We will miss Julie for sure but I know that her Beloved Mom and Dad, Aunt Jennie, Uncle Vince and Aunt Dolly (my Mom and Dad), Uncle Mike and Aunt Josephine, Aunt Mamie, Uncle Anthony, deceased members of the Cunicelli Family, all our previously deceased relatives and friends are welcoming her with open arms and comforting her in her journey to our forever living new home.  Praise be to God!

As I become an adult she was always available to confide in. I shared things with Julie I never shared with anyone.You could do that with her. 

Other than being a tremendous cook and fabulous baker there are things about Julie many people may not know. When she was younger she could tear up a dance floor with her rytmthic moves and in rare instances, belt out a tune with a strong set of pipes.

Some of my fondest memories of Julie is her dry sense of humor.  If you spent enough time time with her you might have had the pleasure of a Julie glance or a Julie stare.She didnt need to verbally respond to something because the Julie stare spoke volumes. I would give anything to experience the Julie stare again.

I WILL MISS YOU JULIE. Your absence will be felt by many.

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